The Streets of Taiwan are Colored with the Blood of the Innocent

Last week I was kidnapped by an international cartel of Taiwanese gangsters and shipped back to their country to work as an underage prostitute. Do you know hard it is to act like a 10 year old girl when you're 5' 10" and are obviously sporting a sausage under your mini skirt? The customers weren't too picky though; as long as I made an attempt to act like an underage girl full of innocene they didn't mind. Apparently, being full of innocence also means being full of man chowder. It wasn't too bad, tasted like Thai food.

I am, however, almost out of makeup, and the money I make selling my man-snatch on the streets isn't enough to cover it. If I don't get all dolled up the customers will be able to tell I'm not really a little girl and I fear I'll be drawn and quartered in the town square. Homosexuality is illegal here apparently. Not that I'm gay, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Send any and all donations to Nate or Jed. Preferablly Jed, last time Nate handled my money I ended up losing a pinky to the Yakuza, but that's a different story.