Hockey Riots in Minneapolis last Saturday. I was there, as your Cephaladon Studios correspondant. Many a car was flipped and torched. I doubt if any garbage recepticles in the University of Minnesota area survived the night. What a good time. It almost seemed like a good, ol' fashioned sports related riot, in the European sense, until people started chanting "U S A!" That ruined the illusion for me. Only in America would people chant the name of a their country while dismantling the very government they are promoting by their words. I don't think any mob anywhere else in the world would chant FOR the country that their ripping out of the ground and burning in the middle of the street while they're doing the ripping and burning. Cognitive dissonance is the American Way. Well, what do you want from a country that was founded by an elite group of landholding slaveowners who claimed "all men are created equal." Could I possibly attain gainful employment by merely pointing out the ironies of American life? I think that's my dream job. And while they may look comely wearing riot gear, policemen in a riot situation are not extremely conversational. You're more likely to end up with a face full of liquid fire and more bruises than you started the day with than a conversation on how safe the streets are.

Also, when a chick at the other end of a 900 number says she'll call you back. She's lying and just doesn't like you. Pay attention, some of us have to learn these things the hard way.