Holy shit! Look who it is... it's ME!

So lets see.....Been nearly 2 months since I've posted... And you know what? You guys didn't miss a damn thing in my life. Well, I guess some shit went down, but nothing super important. So the whole "Spending less time on the computer thing" has kind of worked. Basicly instead of staying on the computer so much, I sleep. God I hate sleeping. Well.... no, that's not true. I hate going to sleep and I hate waking up. Sleeping is just fine though. This has been a pretty crazy, sleepless week. I've only slept threeof the past five nights and two of those that I did sleep were very poor sleep.
It all started when I didn't want to sleep one night because I was trying to fix my schedual... I can't really remember what the days were that I didn't sleep, so I'm not going to tell the story... (I did start telling it, but deleted it because I don't have a clue on what I was talking about) this week has been one LONG day. Didn't go to work Thursday, slept for like 18 hours, stayed up all that night and went to work Friday on no sleep. Basicly took too much euphedrin (energy pills) and couldn't sleep for shit Friday night. Got like 4 hours of sleep and I had to come in to work at 10 yesterday and work a 12 hour shift. Last night my legs were so sore from clenching them while I was on the euphedrin I couldn't sleep very well, so yeah... I'm tired.

Last week on the other hand... was a good week... although it left me with a nice little paradox to figure out. By the way, when I say last week, I mean last weekend. So I'm working late for a friend... Saturday. He brings about an ounce of Magic Mushrooms to work. Short story shorter, we had fun at work. Now that is where this paradox comes in (paradox on mushrooms... suprise suprise!)

So for the past year and a half, I have been staying sober... more or less. I havn't been smoking pot and I havn't been drinking and I've done a few other things (pills mainly) about 5-6 times, give or take. Now I'm staying sober because I'm a fucking drug addict. In past experiences I have not been able to control my drug use to a reasonable manner and I don't want to go back to that. But, like I said, I've only used a few times in the past year and a half... and I consider that reasonable (except for the one time that I did smoke pot and went off on that for a few months... but that doesn't count, I don't want to use marijuana anymore). So my treatment and AA teaches that we, as drug addicts, are powerless over our addiction. Meaning, that if I start to use psychedelics on a rare occasion, it will eventually lead back to full-blown, out-of-control drug use. Now, being the stubborn, pseudo-intellectual that I claim to be, this is hard to believe. What I want to believe is that I am an exception to the rules, the rules of addiction. I have seen, time and time again, people who believe that and go out to try it and fail. But still, I think I can do it... So the question is, do I try it? I think I will have to. If it doesn't work, and I go back out to the game, maybe I will finally be convinced (if I make it back that is). If it does work, well, then it works. And I prove I am an exception to the rule. God, I'm such a drug addict. But either way, I'm going to get fucked up when Nate comes and visits. Because he will be very pissed off if I don't. Doing psychedelics is such a good bonding experience. I guess... Anywho...

All efforts to quit being an obsessive-stalker-harrasser-type-guy have proved... successful. That's one of those things you look back on and say "What the Fuck? That was Me?" Or something like that.

Soon, within two weeks, I should be starting the night shift! Yay! I'll be working Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 9pm-7am. I'll probably be working a week day too... but my schedual is going to be worse than it is right now... so I don't know, maybe I can come in around noon. Also signed up for an online class in PC Troubleshooting so I will have something to do at night and I won't have to pay rent.
Speaking of rent, if you know anybody trustworthy in the Dallas area, tell me! I think I need to move out... maybe... Actually, what I want is to move in with Nate or Jon... I think (maybe(BIG MAYBE)) that me and Jon may get an apartment. But that means he has to get a steady job and stuff... so yeah, big maybe. I'll hope, but I sure won't expect.

Hmmm... I got a new tattoo since last post... it's a baphomet pentagram. Maybe I'll get a picture up of it, its super evil.

Anyways, guys, hit up the tagboard. We're lonely.

Out.