This will be my first update from a PC other than the hive brain. I'm saying I'm not home. That, and my whole world ended the moment you left me. But I digress, I've been drinking, and I tend to quote songs while I'm writing once I've got over 10 shots in me. Ok, since nobody reads this, and it's more of a catalog of events in my life. I'm still writing comedy, right? I'm funny, I mean, I try. I try so fucking hard. And you never laugh. You brainless fucktards, Sweet god. You wouldn't know a joke if it crawled up your ass and planted little joke eggs in your large intestine. Whew, I'm rambling.

So, I haven't been updating because I've been getting action. Hence the lack of mysoginistic posts lately. I've also noticed that my comedy is much nicer lately, since Jenna has taken what one might call a "back" seat in my life. Whew.

Nate's out.

So it's been a while. Hopefully we didn't lose a reader (that being 3000% of our circulation). I've been busy. I'm taking classes this summer. So far every one of them is over except for American Liturature and Culture 2. Oh it's fun. Well, not really. It does, however, have a girl in it. She's about 5'6" with brown hair and brown eyes. She wears too much fucking makeup, but at least that insinuates good grooming techniques, something I've never experienced in a girlfriend. She hottest thing about her, besides the titties of course, is that she seems to dig me. For me, that's always the sexiest thing a girl can do. When you like me, well, it makes you all that much cuter. I'm not going to outline exactly how she and I are progressing from classmates to wherever we'll end up. Those of you that have read more than 5 words will remember the girl from my film study class, and her being married. This girl has a ring on that same finger. I'm thinking it either matters much less, or it's just a ring on a finger. Not a symbol of everlasting love in the eyes of God-Almighty. Heh, I think I enjoy the first possibility the most. I've never fucked a married chick. Boy, was that vulgar.

What can I say? I'm a disgusting person. Moving right along.

Long, long ago, in a neighborhood far, far away I registered for a comedy contest. It's called "The Funniest Person in Minneapolis" contest. The preliminary round was Tuesday, the 15th of July. And I fucking won. Don't get too excited, it only means that I go on to the Semi-Finals....but. I FUCKING WON. Good sweet mother of God. Lots of religion in this post...anyway.

Something funny, and not like 'ha ha' but like 'hrm' : I used to do this open mic night at the Dinkytown Steaknife. It's a shitty fucking restaurant near the Univeristy of Minnesota campus. The sound system sucks, the stage sucks, the lighting sucks, and the performers... well, they suck. There's this black guy there, and I say 'this black guy' because there is only one. His blackness is not actually his most identifying feature though. He's first and foremost a pothead. He doesn't get on stage without announcing it, and talking about it in any one of the 12 most juvenile ways one can do so. He is also an ignorant prick. There, I said it. Everybody but me loves him. And I tried. I tried so fucking hard. It didn't work. Every time I see the guy, I want to rip off his passive aggressive bullshit disguise of a face and shit on his braincase. Anyway, I'm rambling. Shortening this story. This guy makes fun of me. The Dinkytown Steaknife doesn't listen to my comedy, and moreover, doesn't like it. I went to Acme Comedy Club and brought down the fucking house.

Shortening again: Fuck you drunk bastards and your complete inability to recognize a good joke if it was wrapped around your dicks. Fuck you, and everything you stand for. Get a new cell phone service plan that defines you as a person. I'm out.