On Mariganjabis.
Why THC is the most deplorable chemical for the human body

TetraHydroCannabinol (THC) is typically extracted from the Marijuana plant, (More than you could ever want to know about the plant and the substance contained within it can be found here.) The chemical iteself is not water soluble, meaning it is difficult to synthesize from the plant, at least, if you're high when you try. The most symple form of synthesis and ingestion is by burning the leaves of the marjiuana plant, which releases THC along with smoke from said leaves. Some Marijuana plants are genetically engineered beyond repair, and as such, you don't end up burning leaves, but 'nuggets' of plant matter literally oozing THC, but we'll get to that later. Glass pipes, rolling papers, water pipes, nefarious contraptions with more hoses than a lyposuction clinic, and metal or wood pipes are typically used to hold the plant in place while it is torched.

Other methods of THC extraction include: Dissolving the chemical in a fatty substance (such as butter) and then ingesting the butter (this ingestion can be accomplished in a variety of ways, but brownies and crackers are popular delivery methods), vaporizing THC from the plant (pass superheated air over it, and only the THC will reach it's boiling point, you get a 'cleaner' 'hit'), and dissolving the chemical in an alcohol (Recipies for THC/Ethanol drinks can be found, if one were inclined) are the most populare methods. Chemically, I am absolutely positive that it is possible to make THC pills, or some form of liquified THC that's relatively pure. This is all conjecture however, because it would be a pain in the ass to actually do, and it's much too much work when smoking the shit makes the 5 hours of paid programming from 1:30 to 6:30 AM seem like a reasonable time investment.

Now, a little recap on our methods, and some warnings for each of them. Smoking is pretty self explanitory: Set it on fire and inhale the smoke until either your lungs stop inhaling or it won't burn anymore. Right, we've all got that. On to cooking. Cooking with Marijuana is relatively tricky, if you're an absolute moron. I mean, if the sperm from your dad had a few extra chromosomes, maybe half of you just swam too well for your own fucking good. Seriously, you people need to not fuck this up. Keeping two things in mind will make sure that it never happens again. First, Cannabinol is fat soluble. This means, that you can't just put it in the brownies and expect to get high. The acids in your stomach will absorb a small amount of THC from the plant matter itself, but most of it will be lost completely somewhere between the oven and the sewer. You need to cook the marijuana in the butter you plan to use in... whatever. Be it brownies, or just butter for toast, it doesn't matter. Get a pan, the amount of butter and amount of pot, heat the butter, then add your marijuana. This brings us to step two: Don't burn the shit. The butter doesn't need to be flying all over the fuck place to absorb tasty little THC molecules. Just get a healthy simmer, and do it for a while. I'm talking medium to medium low here. It's much better, both chemically and aesthetically if you heat it longer at a lower heat than burn the fuck out of it in 15 minutes. Also, it goes to say that your apartment will smell like Marijuana. It's not quite as pervasive as the smoke itself, but it's definately noticeable. Cook something afterwards if you have parents that don't understand they've been innoculated to subscribe to the dominant belief in a culture that doesn't give a fuck about them. Whew, I think I'm ranting. Back to our favorite plant.

Vaporize it! Vaporizers are typically bought online, though I forget the legitimate use they have. I've heard that Home Depot (Want to hear something funny about Home Depot? There's a funny bit on Home Depot on Matt Fugate's website. Click the Wallpaper Now! link) sells vaporizers on their website. A vaporizer looks like a drill and sounds like a drill, but all it contains is a heater and a fan. You plug it in and wait about 15 minutes for it to heat up. Think blowdryer. It's the same principle, just expanded by a few factors of 10. Don't use it on your hair, dumbass. Basically, this is the same as smoking the pot, but you pass heated air over the ganja (pack very small bowls, and try to make sure that the heat will hit every angle of the marijuana, you will only get one hit per bowl and if the heat doesn't reach a portion of the weed, it won't vaporize the THC) and then inhale colorless, odorless vapor. I dislike this method for a number of reasons: It's not as social. It strikes me as an industrial, professional method of imbibing THC, and that's not something I've ever liked. It's loud. You get no smoke, so it feels less satisfying (think patch opposed to cigarettes). And it's impossible to tell if you've cashed the bowl or not. I've heard that the weed looks a little browner afterwards, but the guys that told me this were high, so take it with a grain of NaCl. I think that's the right chemical. Anyway. Moving right along.

Now, since my title denotes THC as being the most destructive humor when interacting with the human form, it may seem counter-intuitive for me to begin with ingestion. I really can't explain the choice here, except to say that I wanted to start from the beginning, and this was as far back as I was willing to go. I'm not going to touch on traditional or ancient methods of partaking in the THC, because these ritualistic anecdotes have no place in explaining marijuana in our culture, and there is aboslutely no relevance between ancient uses and the way marijuana is used today. The other reason I started with consumption of THC is because my website logs posts in a reverse chronological manner, so it will actually be the last once all is typed and done. Actually, I suppose these next few sentences will be the last read.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the experience, or the 'high.'

Stay tuned, like this is analog in any way at all. I guess it also implies that anyone but me reads this, which is just as untrue. C'mon, tag the tagboard, you apathetic fucks.

It was all I could do to not talk about a girl in this post. That's probably my final thought.